Rest for Creativity
I love sleeping. Snuggling down under the covers with a soft pillow is usually a welcome respite from the day’s activity. But that doesn’t mean I allow myself enough rest. That is especially true when a deadline looms—when there is more than I can imagine doing in the time allotted.
Two days from now, the copy and photos for my new website are due. Ever since I signed the contract months ago, I knew this day would come. My friend and talented photographer, Nilaya Sabnis, did a beautiful photo shoot. The “Brand Breakthrough” meeting with the designers resulted in a Vision Board with colors, fonts, logo that represent me well. And now, it’s up to me to write down what I offer—a public description of who I am and what I offer clients.
It’s like writing a resume on steroids—like walking naked out in public. I can feel the electricity of fear pulsing in sweaty palms, a tight belly, and shoulders bending under the weight of expectations—mostly mine.
The fear activates my nervous system into a “pedal to the metal” impulse.
You’ve got to power through.
Let’s get rid of this fear by getting the job done at whatever cost.
It’s a default that is so old I can’t remember myself without it. And it worked for me in the past. My parents praised me when I performed well, whether helping at home or achieving at school. And later, I earned big degrees and got important job opportunities. It was all good until I pushed myself so hard that I ruptured a disc in my back and ended up in the breakdown lane for over a decade.
Now, I know myself well enough to slow down and check in with my body—feel the fear, give it my full attention, let it know that I understand why it’s afraid. Once upon a time, my little child self experienced a “disconnect” from her parents when she didn’t perform. And losing connection with primary caregivers, even briefly, registers in a child’s nervous system as a threat to survival.
So, a couple of days ago at four o’clock when I had been writing all day with Nilaya, who is also a brilliant creative consultant, my impulse was to keep going. But we called it a day. We were both exhausted from looking at screens and trying to express the essence of body-centered work in words.
A bright blue sky beckoned outside. Tension in my body released as strode briskly along, warm sunlight dappling my path. I stopped to watch bees streaming in and out of a hole in a gnarled oak. And no wonder the bees were busy, every tree, bush, and flower was in bloom.
As I arrived home, I looked at my watch.
Only five o’clock.
Still time to finish the “Work With Me 1:1 Page.”
First, I need to do a 15-minute strength workout….
The old impulse was rising again—trying to protect me, wanting me to succeed.
But I’m the parent now, and I knew I needed rest.
I created a soft space for Yoga Nidra and lay down to practice.
Thirty minutes later, my body was open, relaxed, spacious, at ease…
After dinner, I allowed myself the pleasure of a warm bath and time to start The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life by Boyd Varty, a book a client had recommended. The unexpected synchronicity of what I was reading and what I wanted to say about my own work, wrapped me in a warm sense of security.
You’re not crazy.
You’re right where you’re supposed to be.
I slept.
And awoke with no alarm at 5:30am—well rested after seven and a half hours of sleep.
Instead of “powering through,” I wrote all morning in a creative state of flow.
My nervous system was at ease, free from fear or shame.
It was fun.
The words appeared on the page.
I finished a day’s work before noon.
Nilaya was astounded at what I had written.
It was confirmation once again that rest and pleasure nourish my creativity. And that I am developing the capacity to feel a familiar impulse and choose another path—not by grit or determination but because it feels good in my body.