What are the Autonomic Nervous System and Polyvagal Theory and why are they important?
The autonomic nervous system is the human body’s natural security system—constantly scanning for safety or danger in an unconscious process that Steven Porges named neuroception in his Polyvagal Theory in 2012. The groundbreaking theory replaced a more simplistic model of fight, flight, freeze versus rest and digest..
As Deborah Dana details in her Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory, the purpose of the autonomic nervous system is to protect us from pain—both physical and emotional—and ensure our survival. The system has two main parts—sympathetic and parasympathetic—and runs throughout the body, controlling involuntary functions including breathing, blood pressure, heart rate, digestion, nerves that control muscles in the eyes, neck, throat, and ears for facial and vocal expression, and nerves and muscles throughout the body..
The sympathetic branch responds to danger with action—using adrenaline to activate us into states of fight, flight or fawn. The vagus nerve is the main component of the parasympathetic branch with two pathways—ventral vagal and dorsal vagal. Ventral vagal supports the ease and fluidity of safe social connection, while dorsal vagal immobilizes us into numbness, collapse and disconnect.
There are many subtleties and complexities to Polyvagal Theory, but Dana suggests that the easiest way to understand it is to imagine a ladder.
At the top of the ladder is the ventral vagal state where the body feels safe and at ease—either in quiet social interaction or mobilized in “play.” In this state, we have access to what Richard Schwartz calls the 8 C’s: calm, confidence, compassion, connection, creativity, curiosity, clarity, courage, and the 5P’s: presence, perspective, patience, persistence, playfulness.
Safety is the not the absence of threat, but the existence of connection. -Gabor Maté
If a disconnect or some form of threat arises, the body shuts down the rational brain and mobilizes via the sympathetic branch into action—fight, flight, fawn—attempting to do something to reconnect or mitigate the threat in survival mode..
If action fails or is impossible, the body resorts to immobilization in the dorsal vagal state—a shut down for survival.
As we experience life, this system feeds information to the brain, which attaches meaning to what we experience, both physically and emotionally. And, the autonomic nervous system creates our survival strategies.
“Our minds create the world we live in, but first, the world creates our minds.” Gabor Maté
What Is Compassionate Inquiry?
Dr. Gabor Maté developed his Compassionate Inquiry approach intuitively. It arose in healing his own trauma and in his practice as a family physician—including working in hospice care and with addicted patients in poverty stricken neighborhoods in Vancouver, Canada. He also drew from traditional mindfulness practices and the work of others, including Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing), Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems), Michael Brown (The Presence Process), A.H.Almaas (The Diamond Approach), Dan Seigal (Mindsight), Gordon Neufeld (Raising Resilient Kids), Steven Porges (Polyvagal Theory) and Deborah Dana (The Rhythm of Regulation).
The hallmarks of Compassionate Inquiry are:
The practitioner holds the session in presence, meaning their nervous system is relaxed and at ease, not activated into protective strategies of fight, flight, fawn or freeze. The capacity of the practitioner to stay in presence requires awareness and self-care. What the practitioner offers the client is a non-judgmental space to do their own work—to allow whatever arises in the session to be seen, heard, and felt while the practitioner remains in presence..
The practitioner follows the lead of the client, beginning with asking the client, “What would like to explore?” And throughout the session, the practitioner remains attuned to what is arising for the client—in the body— and invites inquiry there, so that the client has complete agency to determine the direction and pace of the session.
The interaction between the practitioner and the client is not hierarchical. The practitioner isn’t trying to diagnose the client or prescribe a way out of old habits or beliefs.
The role of the practitioner is to bring awareness and compassion to whatever shows up. By noticing what is happening in the moment, the client sees how the mind creates beliefs and how the body embeds protective strategies based on those beliefs in the nervous system
The session is not designed to “get rid of” any impulse, behavior, or belief but rather, to inquire with tender curiosity about them with questions like:.
- What sensations, emotions, thoughts come up with that?
- What does it do for you?
- What was it like when you first experienced this?
This process offer the client an opportunity to unpack what happened in the past, unwind core beliefs created long ago for protection, and understand and develop compassion for protective strategies and core beliefs that no longer serve. Shifts occur naturally in the client’s nervous system through curiosity, awareness, compassion, trust, and acceptance, without needing to force change.
What can I expect from my free 30-minute initial consultation before beginning 1:1 sessions in Compassionate Inquiry?
To begin, I offer a few minutes of guided meditation to invite you to connect to what is happening in your body. Then, we have an informal conversation about what you are looking for and what I do—an opportunity to get to know each other and for you to ask questions. The intention is for us to decide if we want to work together.
What is Gateless Writing?
Gateless Writing is a literary arts organization that is also a method and a movement. Eleanor is a Gateless trained teacher.
Suzanne Kingsbury founded Gateless to connect writers with the unique creativity that is theirs alone—to empower the voice within. Based on her own experience with ancient Zen and with writing, and bolstered by the cutting edge neuroscience related to the autonomic nervous system, she designed the Gateless method.
Gateless signifies the moment the conditioned mind falls away and you are one with the act of creation. -Suzanne Kingsbury
With reiki, meditation, and other somatic work, Gateless trained teachers create a safe container for writers “...to shift brain chemistry… fire feel-good neurotransmitters” and write from there. Essentially, once the autonomic nervous system is relaxed—no longer activated into fight, flight, fawn or freeze—writers have access their unique creativity.
The core of Gateless is that there is no criticism of any kind ever. Not even a hint. Never a suggestion of what isn’t working or might need to be fixed. Gateless feedback is always positive.
When a writer hears what is working, it feels so good that the unconscious mind creates more of that. Whatever isn’t working, falls away. -Suzanne Kingsbury
In this process, writers learn to identify what is fabulous in other writers’ work in terms of writing craft, and that translates to identifying what is fabulous in their own work. The more a writer focuses on what is good, the less room there is for “the critic.”
The critic in writing mirrors the critic in life. It is trying to keep the writer safe and within the bounds of what others—family, friends, publishers, the broader culture—will be okay with. The critic arises out of trauma and the fear of “getting it wrong.” If the writer takes time to get to know the critic and her fears, trust evolves from that connection.
Using brain science, ancient Zen, and highly effective writing craft resources, we move you beyond the conditioned, critical mind to a place of limitless potential beyond. -Suzanne Kingsbury
What body-centered practices do you offer?
Come To Your Senses Conscious Dance
Dance is an ancient ritual. From the dawn of history, humans danced to be with whatever was within—anger, grief, fear, love, joy, wonder, surrender—and to connect in community.
Emotion is energy in motion, and the ritual of dance acknowledges the energy wants to move through our bodies to be seen, felt, held, witnessed. There is deep healing in moving consciously— bringing attention and awareness to the sensations, emotions, impulses, thoughts that arise in your body. The wisdom of your body is always there, wanting you to listen to its truth, your truth.
Once your body surrenders to movement, your soul remembers to dance.
-Gabrielle Roth
The Dance, like Compassionate Inquiry and Gateless Writing, rests on the foundation of ancient practices and cutting-edge neuroscience of the vagus nerve and autonomic nervous system. In a held container, the dancer feels the safety of trusted connection and is free to express,There is no way to do the practice “wrong".” There is no such thing as a mistake. There is no need to conform or perform. The practice is to be in connection with what is arising in the moment.
When we’re thinking too hard, we tense up and nothing can flow through us; our energy gets stuck in our heads. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust that if you turn off your head, your feet will take you where you need to go.
-Gabrielle Roth
The Dance leads us deep into relationship with the Self—a knowing of all that is written in the cells from the past. And, it opens new pathways of moving, allowing, seeing, and being fully in your own authenticity. In the ritual of the Dance, it is safe to explore and experiment with the body in ways that teach you to see with the heart. And when you’ve done that on the dance floor, you can do it in your life.
Once your body surrenders to movement, your soul remembers its dance..
-Gabrille Roth
Eleanor practiced for over a decade and trained as a teacher in Gabrielle Roth’s 5 Rhythms® and went on to advanced and continuing practices in the 360 Emergence with Kate Shela and Amber Ryan, ZeroOne with Adam Barley, and Moves into Consciousness with Alain Alard and Sarah Pitchford, all of whom left the 5 Rhythms® organization, as did Eleanor.
Guided Meditation
Meditation is the practice of meeting yourself—a practice of tuning into what is happening in your body—sensation, emotions, thoughts, impulse—and simply observing. Offering space for whatever arises. Guided meditation—being in connection and being guided—develops a foundation for your own meditation practice.
Yin Yoga
Yin Yoga is a practice for slow and gentle release of connective tissue including fascia, which encases the connective tissue around organs, muscles, bones, joints, and blood vessels. Because fascia contains highly sensitive nerves, it tightens with stress. Releasing fascia helps to release emotional tension and create openness in the body.
Yoga Nidra
Yoga Nidra, yogic sleep, is a state of wakeful sleep—a form of deep relaxation that develops awareness. Either on your own or in guided meditation, the practice moves you through levels of consciousness—physical, energetic, mind-emotional, intuitive—to your deepest self. It allows you to be consciously in your unconscious, where rejuvenation, transformation and healing can occur. Practicing with a sankalpa, a stated or visualized intention, offers the opportunity to plant a seed of conscious intention in the unconscious.
Come To Your Senses Conscious Dance
A practice of mindful, unchoreographed movement and dance. With or without music, it is a practice of connection to yourself and what’s moving in you. It evolved from my personal practice and training in the work of Gabrielle Roth and her 5Rhythms Dance.
How can body-centered practices help me?
They, like the Compassionate Inquiry approach, all strengthen connection to the body and build trust with self:
Bring awareness to the breath and to sensation in the body.
Slow down and create space to be—no need to be productive or do anything “right”
Notice what feels good and what does not
Observe what activates emotion and where those emotions show up in the body
Build physical strength, stamina, and flexibility
Learn to ground yourself and regulate your own nervous system
Develop confidence and clarity as you tap into your body’s intuitive wisdom
Express creativity and possibility as you experiment and try new things
Practice in community with others for support
Sometimes, just let go and have fun.
Is it okay if I have never done any somatic practices or tried and didn’t like them?
Yes. There’s no pressure to use them. And if you do, no prior experience is necessary. The foundation of my approach is for you to practice agency—choosing what you want and need. There are no rigid requirements to be fulfilled. You can tailor everything to your needs.
I’m scared of being overwhelmed—like maybe the pain will be too much if I start into this work.
We will only go as fast as you feel safe to go. And remember, you are not alone in having this worry. Avoiding pain is a fundamental human instinct so it’s not surprising that we are afraid of encountering it in self-exploration. Our suffering comes from the strategies we employ not to feel the pain. In Compassionate Inquiry, we practice being present with our pain, and healing comes with the capacity to feel what we couldn’t bear to feel or connect with as a child. Back then, we were without access to the internal and external resources we now have, without anyone to help us regulate our bodies when the pain got to be too much, and without agency—no capacity to leave, change the situation, choose something else. As adults, that is no longer the case.
And, here’s the good news: self-exploration is not only about feeling pain. Developing the capacity to be present with the pain of anger, sadness, fear, grief…, is the path to feeling the pleasure of joy, ease, fun, love, tenderness, deliciousness, belonging…. They are two sides of the same coin.
What are Eleanor’s qualifications?
Education
Dartmouth, BA in French and history (1979)
Harvard, MBA (1984)
Experiences
Coach using the Compassionate Inquiry approach (2020-present)
Creator/Leader retreats at Castello Di Potentino (2017-2018)
Creator/Writer: UncorkedInItaly.com blog about Italian natural wine (2014-19)
Wine Writer, The American Magazine in Italia (2010-14)
Adjunct professor and on startup team: business/ESL at multi-disciplinary honors program for Italian university students. Collegio di Milano. (2004-2008)
Adjunct professor: Investments, Marketing. McIntire School of Commerce, University of Virginia (1986-1990)
World Bank: Washington and Africa.1984-1985)
Bain and Company: associate consultant (1980-1982)
Certifications and Trainings
Gabor Maté's Compassionate Inquiry: Professional Course, Mentoring Course, (2020-24) Certified 2024.
Certified Life Coach, Certified Coach Federation (2020)
Gabrielle Roth's 5Rhythms®: Practitioner, Spaceholder, Teacher-in-Training (2007-22)
Divine Sleep Yoga Nidra®, Kripalu (2012)
Yoga 200-hr, certification at Kripalu (2009)
International Wine Sommelier, Certified AIS (Associazione Italiana Sommeliers—Milan) (2008-10)
Università di Siena per Stranieri: Advanced Italian Certification (2002)
Personal
Mother to children born '85,'87,'89
Grandmother to children born ’21,’23,’23
Speak Italian and French